The wind blows, the dark nights the geese flying overhead back to warmer climates saying their farewell,

it was halloween and soon to be Christmas, times you loved.
Our hearts are hurting and many tears
Tsuki is getting to know us and Basil but still cry’s in the night missing you my dear boy.


I had a dreadful prophecy when this all started about 2 years ago.
It was a dream a nightmare the wolves were trying to get in and you were opening the windows, I was trying to shut them eventually I couldn’t stop them and they took you.


I couldn’t protect you
I tried but I didn’t fight hard enough for you to get the help you so desperately needed.


This illness took hold of you when you were vulnerable sad and insecure
When you were trying to fit in with your peer’s And when covid and lockdown appeared.


November 2020 when I picked you up from hospital on the third and final discharge,
You had been through so much trauma and it had caused so much damage
In your head,I could see it in your face.

That I didn’t have enough courage and drop everything to go to war and fight the illness tooth and nail.although we did try

I wrongly respected and listened to the advise that you were ok and maintaining your weight this was all that mattered.
But had no advise or treatment with your so delicate mind in those critical early days.

That I didn’t give enough time energy and resolve to be with you through your darkest hours even if you didn’t want me.
You must have been so lonely.

Sorry I did not Show enough understanding early on with Aspergious and how this effected your day to day and How you were feeling and how hard you were finding it although I did not know then none of us did.


This we will all regret for the rest of our lives.
You were a dear loving and loved son and this cruel illness slowly took you for itself and eventually made you into a shell moving in the shadows of darkness , taking away your voice not to be heard not to be helped shunning away all that you loved and held so dear.

The laughter, the smiles the poems the love the rapping,your best friend Basil your brother Ben myself and eventually your beloved mum we all have been mourning My Henry this last year sleep walking into the abyss,thinking you were safe. Trying to gently encourage And hoping with food you would get better so very soon and come back to us.


Forgetting the risks,the control that this illness thrives upon and when the control is taken it is the most dangerous
You were being monitored and pressured to eat and increase weight in the hope you could recover and stay away from hospital for so long now but this eventually became to much for you.


Sorry for Not knowing how you were feeling inside-to help you I wish we could have helped you more my son the signs were there.
But we were much to late this curse had hold of you. It had mocked us all from the start the nurses, doctors and professional people who were searching for answers but found none,left frustrated not knowing what to do as it shut everyone out.
You needed rescuing from this illness but the knowledge and help was wanting.
It was not your fault that you were taken before you could fulfil a life that was limitless with your brain, determination, and creativity, you could have achieved greatness’
We must go on without you although so very hard.                                                                                                                       Even when in the darkness you were so brave and considerate, leaving a booklet on how we should to go on.
You told us to do other things to take our mind off it, we will try do so son.
I will look up to the moon and think of you.
You will be etched on my skin, and in our hearts never to be forgotten until one day We will see you again my son and we will all be a family again.
Rest in peace my darling boy
My heart is broken
Love you forever xxx❤️ Dad


Sent from my iPhone