Spring thoughts Spring arrives, the daffodils and snowdrops are blooming, the birds are singing. Sun is in the sky, the garden is once again coming to life. Lovely full moons, with you in them You will be pleased Basil and Tsuki are happy. Ben is taking good care of Tsuki for you. I’m thinking of beautiful colourful Japanese garden scenes the one’s you saw on twitter and retweeted and found much comfort in. When you were struggling. Your mum and I will miss her beautiful Mother’s Day cards with your art and kind words. But we will remember and know what was in your heart. I guess this will be the pattern every year with new seasons and occasions. Life’s rich tapestry goes on as it must in this sometimes crazy world we live in, but it is much less and very difficult and surreal without you in it. We think of you everyday and restless nights,with great sadness, and an aching heart,missing you and asking what if, Sometimes I wake up and ask myself is it. Real. Your room and artefacts will stay the same for many years it’s our place of memorial. We motivate ourselves to do everyday things and not dwell, but other times we don’t and reflect. It is difficult to discuss as it is very painful for all of us.we just live with our thoughts most of the time. Life’s pleasures are not quite the same without you in them, nor should they be. We hope you are in a better place and at peace as you wished and will see you again one day. I still can’t help but feel you could have driven those feelings and thoughts away in time and excepted some help but I think you were very traumatised by then,we didn’t understand how much. The complex help wasn’t there. We cling to the memory’s your smiles and laughter when you were well and the kind words you left this world. Sometimes I wish we could have kept you from all the pressure and medical intervention that caused you so much pain mentally to leave you in peace. I have learnt so much more about autism and your difficulties, and listen to people with neurodiverse brains only wishing I had the knowledge before it was to late. I was probably in denial to a certain extent didn’t really acknowledge or understand the significance And I now know the extent you were struggling internally in conforming in the expected and conventional manors,but you did,and it was hard for you to acknowledge being different from friends all those years and struggling to understand neurotypical communication and thinking and sensory environments and therefore masking your difficulties. Like myself One day the world and all it’s influencers, medical and health authorities and teachers will have a better understanding in identifying and realise not one ,fit’s all and have better support networks funding and communication avenues. Your life was rich and enriched ours for a very short time, way to short,you deserved better, your heart was beautiful we love you very much this will never ever die. Your life will not be in vain. Love always our beautiful blue eyed boy.Henry see you in our dreams for nowXXX❤️