Eulogy Henry Oliver Tucker 17.12.21 Alford Crematorium (part Two) By mum Another time winning the promote Cornwall giant deck chair competition sending in a photo of Ben, Henry and Oliver on the chair led us to winning a 3 day stay in hotel at Newquay and a 3-hour private family surfing lesson which of course Henry mastered straight away whilst the rest of were bashed around by the waves! One holiday to Portugal was not so much fun as Henry struggled with sensory and social communication which were becoming more obvious and eventually led to his autism diagnosis. He couldn’t tolerate the bright sunlight, and eating out anywhere and was so stressful for him and us. I remember Grandad Keith driving us home from the airport and I just couldn't hold back my tears as I felt so bad for him that he’d struggled so much. Sadly, we all decided it was best not to holiday all together again and we have been taking Ben separately since 2017 whilst Henry stayed at home with me or Dad. Henry and Ben did have a fantastic time on a camp wilderness without mum or dad and PGL holidays, probably because the days were so structured with exhilarating activities and the group leaders were excellent at bringing the best out of the children and making sure no one was left out. Henry loved music and wanted to learn the keyboard, the ukulele and the guitar but he got frustrated with me trying to give him piano lessons as he wanted to play like Mozart immediately; and skip simpler tunes that he considered babyish. It takes an army to bring up children well and help them to realise their dreams, and there are times when we wished we lived closer to Grandad John who could teach him how to do magic tricks and play the guitar, his auntie’s who could’ve taught him piano and his grandad Keith who could’ve taken him again for the biggest burger Henry had ever seen at the golf club (that I failed to create to his satisfactory standard at home) His nana could have developed his already excellent creative art skills and digital art and animation. Henry and Ben went to Barnes Wallis Academy secondary and Henry settled in well year 7. He didn’t really have his own friends at school and instead hung out with his year 8 brother Ben and friends, driving them mad with his argumentative nature and not really understanding the social nuances of communication. However, they all accepted him and loved him for who he was, loved messing around with him and boxes (he loved a box) and the support that they gave to Henry when he was poorly with anorexia and today still continue to give Ben and each other is amazing and for this we are truly grateful. We would like everyone to hold in their heart's happy memories of Henry. Henry loved all that Japan symbolises, the culture, landscape and food. The art of kintsugi is a Japanese pottery technique. When something breaks, like a vase, they glue it back together with melted gold. Instead of making the crack invisible, they make them beautiful. We are like that: we may feel broken at times, but our hearts can heal full of gold veins instead of cracks with love and kindness from others, acceptance of what has happened and from the beauty of the nature around us and we will be stronger.